The death of Audrie Pott––and the death of respect

From FOXNews.com:

Eight days after allegedly being sexually battered while passed out at a party, and then humiliated by online photos of the assault, 15-year-old Audrie Pott posted on Facebook that her life was ruined, “worst day ever,” and hanged herself.

It never stops.

Look––I’m a realist. I don’t think we’re ever going to eradicate bullying and disrespect, but we can certainly do a lot better. We can certainly insist on more respectful behavior––especially in places where we’re supposed to be teaching it.

I know I’m getting old when I hear myself saying things like, “We had teasing and bullying in our day––but never like this.” To be completely honest, kids in the 60s and 70s did sometimes kill themselves after being tormented …

But not in the numbers we see today––and they weren’t subjected to the constant, inescapable barrage of social media.

The intensity of this type of abuse has increased as well, and the ages of the perpetrators are alarmingly younger. Any kind of group sexual assault was an anomaly not long ago, and when it did happen, you certainly didn’t expect it from school age kids.

The FOX story continues with a statement from the family’s attorney, Robert Allard:

“After an extensive investigation that we have conducted on behalf of the family, there is no doubt in our minds that the victim, then only 15 years old, was savagely assaulted by her fellow high school students while she lay on a bed completely unconscious.”

Allard said students used cell phones to share photos of the attack, and that the images went viral.

How could anyone escape that kind of public humiliation?

Respect may not be dead yet––but it’s sure as hell on life support.

This young woman may have survived and recovered if peers had supported her, instead of perpetrating the social media onslaught against her.

This atrocity might never have happened had one of the young people at the scene shown some courage and stopped it––instead of whipping out the smartphone to take pictures.

Of course, whenever one of these incidents happens, most people express disgust and lament the decay of civility and decency and so forth. Most people say that young people need to learn some respect and that we need to hold them accountable.

That’s not enough.

We need to, as my friend Larry Winget says, “Grow A Pair” and start insisting on respectful behavior and start standing up and calling people out on it––before it escalates to the type of assault perpetrated on Audrie Pott.

Does this mean putting yourself at risk? Well––it might. I’m not going to lie to you.

However––unless you want to be part of the problem, you’ve got to be part of the solution.

When we see bad behavior, we’ve got to have the courage to say something. When we see someone physically assaulted, we’ve got to have the courage to step in––or at least the decency to use the phone to call for help instead of capturing the photo opp.

And it’s best to start young.

I’m sick and tired of the pop culture trend that reflects youth dominance of society and the home. I don’t think it’s funny when the kid runs the house in TV commercials. Sadly––that happens too often in real life too. The monkeys are running the zoo.

It may be inconvenient to take the time to correct a young person’s minor transgression. You may find yourself confronting an angry parent when you tell their kid to stop using a national monument as a jungle gym.

Most of all––and parents especially––you’ve got to walk the walk. You’ve got to lead by example and model the kind of behavior you expect from your children. That goes for teachers and coaches too.

The solution to this problem is simple. It’s far from easy.

If we want to save respect––we’ve got to start practicing respect. And we’ve got to insist on respect.

Period.

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