I’m a very lucky guy

I like it when people challenge my ideas and opinions. If I can’t defend my position, then I need to re-evaluate and modify … or just plain change my mind!

After my presentation at a recent conference, someone challenged me on the role of luck in my life …

During THE SENSEI LEADER keynote, I talk about my transformation from loser to leader––from drug abuser and dropout to Black Belt and to where I am today. During this presentation, someone in the audience asked me about the most significant factors in my transformation.

“Luck!”

Of course there were other factors––people who encouraged and helped, my willingness to succeed once I decided to change course––but even the existence of those factors depended largely on luck! I can’t help thinking that I’d be dead or in jail had a friend not turned up at exactly the right time, or had I been born in a different place or time––or even once or twice had a cop not had something more important to deal with than me at a particular moment.

Luck.

As I said, after this event, a member of the audience challenged me on the role of luck. It seemed to him that I was giving luck a little too much credit. Was it just a matter of chance that instead of sitting in a prison cell that I was speaking to a group of top executives about leadership?

Well, to a large extent––yes.

Now here’s the turn …

Every single day each of us is exposed to circumstances, conditions and opportunities over which we have absolutely no control. Too often our perception of control, or lack of it, is shaped by the outcome. If something turns out right, we too often ignore the role of chance. If it goes badly, we give too much weight to bad luck.

Every player at a poker table has the same odds of drawing a good or bad hand. The best players are those who can make the best of a bad hand––and those who know, as the old song goes, when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.

Life is largely a game of chance, but just like in poker, there are ways to improve your odds. Two of the best are:

• Awareness
• Gratitude

Champion poker players are usually very aware people. They notice the slightest “tells,” or signals that indicate whether their opponents are playing a good hand or if they’re bluffing. They can’t control the cards they’re dealt, but they can pay full attention to what’s happening at the table and play their hand based on awareness and experience, not just the luck of the draw.

It’s the same way in real life.

You’re constantly exposed to opportunity and the potential for disaster. The more aware you are the more you’re likely to seize opportunity and recognize and avoid disaster. People who are very aware are usually the people who seem to “have all the luck!”

Gratitude helps you take a realistic inventory of where you are and why.

I don’t like the old cliche that says that every disaster or mistake is a lesson. It can be––if you make it so.

When something goes your way, it helps to appreciate it and to acknowledge whatever it took to deliver this success. When something goes bad, it’s very useful to appreciate the experience and the role it can have in future achievements.

I’m not the lollipops and puppy dogs guy so I won’t preach to you about “the attitude of gratitude” and all that muck. That hasn’t been my experience.

What I have learned is that gratitude serves as a practical inventory. When I take the time to be thankful for what I have, I see very clearly the material, emotional and spiritual resources at my disposal right here and right now. No matter how little that might be, that’s what I’ve got to work with.

Luck and chance plays a huge part in our lives.

Hell, you or I could have been sitting in an office in the World Trade Center on September 11th. What’s important is what you do with whatever cards you’re dealt.

Keep you eyes, ears, mind and heart open––practice awareness, and you’ll be more likely to seize opportunity and avoid disaster.

Be grateful and you’ll appreciate what you have in any given moment––and what you have is always more important than what you don’t.

I’m very aware of the role luck has played in my life––and I’m very grateful for the opportunity to cultivate my awareness. There’s a chance things may have turned out better at any given moment in my life, but I know with certainty that they could have turned out far worse.

It doesn’t bother me in the least to admit …

… I’m a very lucky guy.

Photo of cards by Arvind Balaraman and FreeDigitalPhoto.net

DO YOUR JOB

I had been looking forward to sharing this post with you earlier, then the New England Patriots’ “Deflate-Gate” scandal blew up…

or, well, we’ve heard enough bad puns- I’ll refrain.

I am a devoted Patriots fan. I have been since I was a kid. Unlike so many who climbed onto the Patriots bandwagon in the early days of the Brady/Belichick era, I was freezing my butt cheeks off on those old, cold, aluminum bleachers at Schaefer Stadium.

Yes, the original stadium in Foxboro was named after New England’s famed piss water brew that fueled so many of our post-adolescent adventures. You know what I’m talking about if these words are familiar:

“Hey- headin’ to the packy ta pick up a Weekendah!”

When Robert Kraft rescued the Pats from probable relocation to St. Louis, he ushered in a new spirit of dedication to excellence. When he hired Bill Belichick, he brought in a work ethic that New Englanders could identify with and that serves as a lesson for all of.

This year the Pats promoted a theme that every one of us should take to heart. It’s all about focusing on what’s important- on what you can control in your life and your business…

“DO YOUR JOB.”

Just three words- and when it comes to your success, happiness, legacy and the answer to all your dreams, they just may be the most powerful words you’ll ever hear…

“DO YOUR JOB.”

Forget about what you can’t do. Stop worrying about what you don’t have. Stop whining and complaining about conditions and circumstances…

“DO YOUR JOB.”

There are plenty of things you can’t control in life. Focus on what you can control. Concentrate your efforts, your energy and your attention on what you can do today, turn off the noise and…

“DO YOUR JOB.”

You might love ‘em or hate ‘em, but the Patriots have built the most successful sports franchise in the last two decades. Over their triumphant championship season this year, they’ve been accused of cheating, lying and, well…just being too damn good to be true.

Did they cheat? I don’t think so.

Did they lie? I don’t think so.

Are they really that good? I believe they are- for one simply reason..

…each member of that organization lives by the simple creed they made so popular this year. They’ve faced plenty of distractions over the past couple of weeks, yet they simply roll up their sleeves and go about their business.

Each of us could do the same…

“DO YOUR JOB.”

Uncertainty in weather and life – In defense of forecasters

The pitchforks and torches are out again, and I’m sick of it.

Social media is saturated with people excoriating our weather forecasters for errors associated with the first major winter storm of 2015.

Weather, like life, is full of uncertainty.

The only conditions that are certain are present conditions- which our meteorologists can show us in amazing detail. It wasn’t so long ago that we did not have Doppler radar or satellite imagery. We knew about the location and intensity of a storm only through the reports of people in the midst of it.

Today you can open an app on your smartphone and see exactly where a storm is, how strong the winds are, how much rain or snow is falling at the moment and you can see the latest track.

What you can’t predict with absolute certainty is where the storm will be in a few hours and which part of the storm will strike your specific location. Conditions change and shift and some are simply unanticipated or unpredictable.

Yesterday’s blizzard was a serious storm. It produced high winds and significant snowfall. The fact that the storm turned a couple of degrees does not make forecasters wrong. If you live in an area where the worst of the storm missed you- you’re fortunate.

Listen carefully to what your weather forecasters tell you- they do in fact pick their words carefully…

“…there’s a significant CHANCE that people in the blue bands will see 18 to 30 inches of snow.”

“…winds COULD RANGE from 40 to 60 mile per hour in some areas.”

“…IF the storm remains on a coastal track, conditions are right for a classic Noreaster.”

They’re talking about probability, not certainty. When you’re dealing with uncertainty, isn’t it best to prepare for the worst possible scenario?

When the worst predictions do not materialize, we should be grateful, not skeptical and certainly not hateful. Would you rather they emphasize the lollipops and sunshine possibilities- only to then get hit with a disaster unprepared?

The same is true in life. You can only be absolutely certain about what is happening now…

The problem is, many people don’t want to hear about the worst possible scenario for the future, they’d rather hear that everything will turn up roses. Unfortunately, millions of dollars and countless hours are wasted on prognostications of sure-fire wealth, success and happiness.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with thinking positive. I just prefer to respect the wisdom of my sainted grandmother who always used to say…

“Hope for the best; prepare for the worst!”

Now unlike the weather, you can actually do something about your own future. You can’t predict what circumstances, conditions or challenges you might face with any reliable degree of surety, but you can control, to a large degree, how you will respond to them. You can learn, grow, develop, train and prepare yourself to the best of your ability.

There are many things you can’t control. Your development as a person something you can.

So next time the prognosticators are wrong, in weather or in life, you can be grateful. If disaster strikes, you can be thankful that you were well prepared. If you’re spared the worst, you can be grateful that you were well prepared anyway.

The Authenticity Trap

“Every decision we make in our lives, as individuals or as organizations, is a piece of communication. It’s our way of saying something about who we are, and what we believe.

“This is why authenticity matters. This is why you have to say and do the things you actually believe.”

That’s what Simon Sinek says in his presentation, If You Don’t Understand People, You Don’t Understand Business.

We say it this way…

If you’re going to talk the talk, you better walk the walk.

Sinek explains the importance of putting out the right signals to build genuine trust with the people you want to do business with. This is how you attract the right customers- the people you don’t have to “sell” because they already want what you have to offer.

When you’re authentic, you don’t have to “sell.” You simply have to demonstrate that you will deliver exactly what you say you will.

The greatest pitfall with this emphasis on authenticity is that sometimes, you make mistakes. That’s what I call The Authenticity Trap…

Sometimes you are unable to deliver what you promised- and sometimes it’s not your fault.

It’s always your responsibility.

So what do you do when the crap hits the fan and you just can’t come through with what you said you would?

You tell the truth.

If you can’t deliver, make sure you’re honest with the people to whom you are obligated.

You own the situation.

People understand mistakes, disasters and circumstances- they don’t forgive lies.

And don’t expect to make everyone happy…

Your life or your business and sometimes both might be going down the tubes, but the people you’re dealing with have their own problems. They can’t worry too much about yours.

It’s understandable to seek the understanding of others when things go bad. It’s only natural that you want other people to sympathize with you, especially when you’re a caring person and you’ve sincerely done everything you can but…

…your mistakes and your disasters are your problem. Don’t expect other people to forgive and forget.

When you don’t deliver those conditions cause inconvenience and harm to others- and they may be angry and upset. They may post bad reviews on Yelp. They may say lousy things about you. They might even take you to court!

Sometimes you just have to deal with the anger and disappointment and move along…

Ultimately you have to answer to yourself. If you’ve done everything you can do and you know it, then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.

As you do- practice forgiveness…

I’m not talking about letting go of some self-righteous indignation over the fact that people are upset with you. If you’ve let them down, they have every right to be mad- even if you couldn’t have done anything to change the situation.

I’m talking about letting go of any resentment over the fact that people don’t understand what you’re going through. They’ve got their own problems.

Expect and accept that people will be disappointed, angry and upset. Let it go. If you sincerely want to make amends at some future time, you’ve got work to do- now. Don’t make your job more difficult by being angry with the people who are righteously upset with you.

There are explanations and there are excuses…

To really walk the walk, you have to live with the explanation, however painful.  Start talking excuses and you’re walking in the wrong direction.

Ultimately, you’ve got to hold on to your beliefs- your core values and principles. No matter what the disaster, your authentic beliefs are the light at the end of the tunnel. That’s your way back from any disaster, any mistake or setback.

Keep moving toward that light and keep walking the walk.

 

Have you visited Jim’s newest blog- The Sensei Leader?

Photo of businessman courtesy of STOCKIMAGES and FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Why rich people are NOT screwing you

First of all, as long as someone comes by their money honestly and legally, it’s their money.

I don’t care how much money someone else makes; even when it seems easy, unfair or just plain stupid. How Snookie is worth a $38,000 speakers fee at Rutgers University I’ll never know- but she didn’t steal it.

The gap between rich and poor is not tearing our country apart; jealousy and class envy may very well do the job. Why is this becoming such an issue?

There is a growing gap between the incomes of the wealthiest and average Americans. This gap is even more apparent when you look at tangible assets rather than just income.

Is this wrong? Is it dangerous? If so- shouldn’t someone do something about it?

Unless you are willing to pull on your green tights, steal from the rich and give to the poor, what is there to do?

FACT: Just as there is a growing gap between rich and not so rich, there is also an increasing volatility in the upper income brackets. This means that while the top percentiles are earning proportionately more, it’s also harder for them to stay on top. It also means that more people are finding their way into the top brackets thereby increasing the gap. According to a study led by John Bakija at Williams College:

“…salary income and business income (including self-employment income, S-corporation, and partnership income), both of which largely reflect labor compensation, now account for the majority of the incomes of top income earners, and have been growing substantially as a share of that income in recent decades.” (Read full study here…)

This should be an encouraging sign for those of us who do want to work hard and earn more. The data is showing that people who work very, very hard and adapt themselves to the changing global marketplace are able to earn a lot of money. The Williams College report continues:

“One explanation for rising income inequality emphasizes that it coincided with advancing globalization, as indicated for example by increasing shares of imports and exports in GDP.  This may increase the demand for the labor of high-skill workers in the U.S., because they can now sell their skills to a wider market, and highly-skilled workers are scarcer in the rest of the world than in the U.S.”

Is there some kind of aristocratic conspiracy? Is the New World Order meeting in secret to make sure they keep their boots on the necks of the oppressed masses?

Probably not. In reality, the rich get richer when poor and middle class people make more money too. After all, that’s where a lot of their money comes from.

So what are people so jealous about and why?

Envy is a natural enough emotion. That’s probably why all the world’s great philosophies dedicate a lot of energy to its control and submission and warn about its corrosive influence.

Envy is also big business. Envy drives political campaigns and energizes voting blocks. Envy sells newspapers and draws mass audiences to media pundits which in turn sells lots of advertising.

Turn it off and tune it out. Jealousy will never earn you a single dollar. It’s a massive waste of time and it destroys ambition.

If you want to make the “Top 10%” you’ve got to earn about $120,000 a year. The top 1% is a bit harder to crack at some $1.6 million or so (adjusted gross income) but you can make the top 1.5% at $250,000.

Are these numbers all that daunting? Who are these evil top percenters?

As Mr. Rogers used to sing, they’re “the people in your neighborhood.” Most of them are the owners of the small and mid-size businesses in your communities. They’re the managers and executives who run the companies that employ 90% or so of the rest of the people in your neighborhood.

Sure, some of them inherited their money. Those guys still better get to work; it’s becoming increasing harder to maintain wealth. A few others are athletes and celebrities, but nobody herded you into that stadium, arena or theater at gunpoint. They didn’t steal their money.

Oh- there are a few out there who did actually steal their money. Unless they also happen to hold a seat in Congress, most of them still eventually get caught and go to jail.

The plain fact is that we have all but eliminated any institutional barriers to obtaining and building wealth. Our “Top 10%” is filled with proverbial rags to riches stories- people born with every disadvantage and rose from every imaginable hardship to make their fortunes. How much time would you estimate that Bill Gates and Richard Branson spent stewing in envy when all they had were ideas and guts?

If they can make it, so can you and I. There is plenty of room at the top; it’s the middle and bottom that are crowded!

“A person is born with feelings of envy and hate. If he gives way to them, they will lead him to violence and crime, and any sense of loyalty and good faith will be abandoned.” ~Xun Zi

“Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.” ~Harold Coffin

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