Imagine receiving this voice message from one of your office mates:
“Hey, wassup, you half n—– piece of s—. I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks. [I want to] s— in your f—ing mouth. [I’m going to] slap your f—ing mouth. [I’m going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. F— you, you’re still a rookie. I’ll kill you.”
Last week details emerged in the strange case of Jonathan Martin and Ritchie Incognito, two starting offensive linemen for the NFL’s Miami Dolphins franchise.
Sports is a magnifying glass for culture…
This case isn’t just about a couple of jocks- it’s about our deepest emotions relating to bullying, what it is and how to handle it.
The brief:
Martin left the team without explanation. A couple of days later, he accused Incognito of bullying. Details were vague, but at least part of the accusation centered on Incognito pressuring Martin to pick up a $15,000 tab for a trip to Las Vegas- a trip Martin did not make.
Was Jonathan Martin just the latest poster child for political correctness unchained?
Is this giant among men just a great big wuss?
Cameron Wake is a respected veteran player on the Dolphins roster. Here’s what he had to say in an interview aired on ESPN.com:
“I don’t want to call it hazing…it’s a right of passage. This league- is a group of elite men. It is a fraternity- a brotherhood, a lot of things and- there is a membership.”
And therein lies a significant part of the problem. Bullying is defined by an abuse of power.
Wake’s words are telling- is part of the problem that these men consider themselves “elite?” Are they above the law?
There is a spectrum of unacceptable workplace behavior. It ranges from incivility to harassment and even assault…
Is hazing bullying?
Not necessarily. To be fair to Wake, he continues:
“You have to pay your dues to get certain privileges. And is it carrying football pads, is it a silly haircut- ah, I don’t know, maybe buying soap for your vet? Ah- I don’t know. To me, is that bullying- is that hazing? I’m sure you guys will be talking about that for the next few months.”
Well- I’ve been talking about it for the past few years.
Most of us would agree that the innocuous behaviors Wake describes may be annoying and inappropriate, but they don’t rise the the level of bullying. In the rough and tumble world of professional football, these rituals may be accepted…
…even if you wouldn’t tolerate that level of incivility in your office.
Incivility includes any breach of etiquette, inappropriate outbursts of anger, derogatory comments or purposely shunning or ignoring others.
When does it become bullying?
A good rule of thumb is that if you can handle it yourself and the behavior stops when you confront the offender- it’s not bullying.
When you can’t stop it yourself…it is.
The best definition of bullying I’ve found comes from the Manufacturing, Science and Finance Union (MSF Union) in the UK:
“Persistent, offensive, abusive, intimidating or insulting behaviour, abuse of power or unfair penal sanctions which makes the recipient feel upset, threatened, humiliated or vulnerable, which undermines their self-confidence and which may cause them to suffer stress.”
Bullying is destructive but not necessarily illegal..
According to USLegal.com:
“Workplace harassment may be based on an individual’s race, sex, color, national origin, age, religion, disability, marital status, medical condition, pregnancy, sexual orientation, gender identity, family, looks or other characteristics protected by law.”
Rest assured, cross any of those lines and you’ve got a legal issue on your hands.
Go back an re-read the transcript of the Incognito voice mail to Martin. How many of these legally protected characteristics can you identify in that one message?
In the worst case scenario, incivility left unchecked can escalate to physical assault.
Talking about assault on an NFL football field might seem ludicrous. To your business, it can be devastating.
The cost…
Studies by The Workplace Bullying Institute (WPI) show that production in a bully’s target can decrease by 50% or more. They also document production by other workers decreasing by as much as 38% per worker in the affected area.
I’ve worked with several clients who were shocked by the losses when we started to do a rough estimate of the impact of incivility or a workplace bully. Lost time, sick days, distraction- by tracking time in 30 minute increments I’ve been able to verify the WPI studies for myself.
You might not measure workplace production in minute detail- but every NFL team does!
If for no other reason, the Dolphins case is an invaluable example of the high cost of workplace bullying.
Check the NFL team stats and you’ll find the Dolphins near the bottom of the charts in offensive production- passing and running; usually a strong indicator of trouble with the offensive line.
And all of this is before they feel the impact of the breakdown of organization culture literally from the front line to the C-suite- or in this case, the coach’s office.
So who should have handled this and when?
Arguably, this never should have happened. This incident provides us with some powerful lessons:
- Know what’s happening in your organization
- Keep lines of communication open
And most of all…
- Make sure your team can trust the coach!
Reports indicate that Martin recently met with his coach, Joe Philbin, but didn’t provide proof of his concerns at that meeting.
Hall of Fame wide receiver Chris Carter, now a commentator with ESPN offered this insight:
“…Philbin, the head coach…the reason the guy didn’t talk to him when they met- because he didn’t trust him.”
You can’t know every detail of every interaction between every employee in your organization- but you’d better catch the big ones!
The key is an open line of communication and trustworthy mechanism for reporting and dealing with cases of incivility. The earlier you catch it the better.
The players on your team need to know they can trust you- that they can voice concerns and that you will protect their confidentiality whenever possible.
But what about just “standing up” to the bully?
I’m all for it…
Look- I have the same advice for the bully and the target of the bully:
Knock it off!
Refuse to be a target. There is no reason you should subject yourself to the humiliation, stress and embarrassment associated with being the target of a bully.
That’s exactly what Martin did…
We don’t know yet whether he was forthcoming with his coach or whether he felt as if he could not open up to the coach and the organization without fear of retribution.
Either way- Martin’s response was appropriate. He removed himself from the situation.
What were his alternatives?
It’s highly likely that any action on Martin’s part would simply have made the situation worse. It’s evident that this is a team in disarray and that other players would have rallied around Incognito rather than Martin- as some have.
He didn’t punch his bully in the nose- but he is confronting the situation appropriately. He’s taking it through channels…
…and that’s what you want happening in your locker room too.
The most effective way to deal with workplace incivility is to prevent it.
You do this by establishing a clear set of expectations- a Workplace Respect Protocol.
By establishing a clear Respect Protocol, you embed the desired behavior in your organization culture. You create a mechanism whereby you can take action when someone falls short of expectations rather than being limited to responding to an offense.
So is Jonathan Martin a big wuss or not?
I don’t think so.
An NFL team is a business. It has the same obligations as any other employer to its employees. Coach Philbin was right when he said:
“You know, two of my children go to school right behind here at the university school…As a parent, when they walk in those doors, I have certain expectations with administration, with the teachers and the staff that they will create a safe atmosphere where my children can learn and develop as people. This is no different. I take this responsibility very serious.” (ESPN.com)
Even in the brutal environment of NFL football, what should any individual be expected to endure on the job?
As you judge Jonathan Martin, ask yourself what you would do in the same situation.
If you still think he’s a wuss, why don’t you tell him to his face?
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November 5, 2013
Categories: Business Life, Current Events & Issues, Ethics, Leadership, Philosophy . Tags: Black Belt Mindset, books, bullying, business, conference speaker, culture, current events, engagement, ethics, incivility, Jim Bouchard, Leadership, management, motivational speaker, personal development, respect, speaker, success, Think Like a Black Belt, violence, workplace bullying, workplace civility, workplace respect . Author: jimbouchard . Comments: Leave a comment
It started with accusations of bullying. It’s about more than that now, and the Miami Dolphins bullying case shines a blinding light on issues faced in nearly every workplace and home in America.
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